The way we raise our children has a profound impact on their lives and our relationship with them. Some parents have expressed disappointment and hurt that their children do not show appreciation or care for them in their old age. To understand this phenomenon, let's examine the different approaches to parenting and their consequences.
We've all heard stories of parents who were strict disciplinarians, often labeled as "wicked" by their children. However, as these children grow older and face the realities of life, they begin to appreciate the wisdom and love behind their parents' actions. They realize that their parents were preparing them for the challenges of life, teaching them valuable lessons that would benefit them in the long run.
In contrast, parents who pamper and overindulge their children often do them a disservice. These children may learn the hard way, making mistakes and facing difficulties that could have been avoided if they had been taught discipline and responsibility earlier in life. Some may never recover from these mistakes, while others may eventually learn to appreciate the value of hard work and self-reliance.
Then there are parents who continue to support their children well into adulthood, often enabling them to avoid taking responsibility for their own lives. When these parents are no longer able to provide support, their children may find themselves ill-equipped to cope with the demands of independent living.
As parents, guardians, teachers, and caregivers, we must be mindful of the impact our actions have on the children in our care. As they grow and mature, they will reflect on their upbringing and judge our actions. Will they appreciate the sacrifices we made for them, or will they regret the mistakes we allowed them to make?
When a child is doing the wrong thing, it's essential to be objective and chastise them accordingly. Never assume that a child is too young to understand corrections. Any child capable of carrying out an action, whether positive or negative, can also be encouraged or discouraged. Pay attention to simple gestures, such as refusal to say "good morning" or "thank you" when someone shows kindness. While providing basic needs like food, shelter, and education is our responsibility, it's equally important to teach our children to appreciate these efforts. Never overlook disrespect or inhumane behavior towards others, regardless of age, social class, or ethnicity. Correct your child and teach them to respect everyone. Remember, social behaviors begin at home, and if not properly checked, can grow into a monster that haunts both the individual and society.
The story of a mathematics teacher who pushed his students to answer questions quickly comes to mind. Initially, the students thought him "wicked," but later they realized he was preparing them for the demands of senior school certificate exams. Years later, they honored him with an award of recognition.
In contrast, the story of a child who was allowed to steal from his mother without consequence is a sobering reminder of the dangers of permissive parenting. The child grew up to become a notorious armed robber, and in a shocking display of ingratitude, he bit off his mother's ear as he was being led to his execution.
Many children today who have achieved success despite their upbringing often express regret that their parents did not provide them with the guidance and discipline they needed to succeed. They may even wish they had different parents or caregivers.
It's never too late to correct our mistakes and make amends. We can start by taking a closer look at our parenting style and making adjustments to ensure that our children are equipped with the skills and values they need to succeed in life. By doing so, we can earn their respect and gratitude, and build a stronger, more loving relationship with them.
Dr. Bright Oniovokukor
Comments
Post a Comment